It is an honour to be invited into a traditional Zulu home, after all this is a tribe that is considered as custodians of the soul of South Africa. It is they that built the strongest kingdom of home-life in KwaZulu-Natal, and it is there that the majority still consider their home, regardless of where they may live today.
Culture-driven
There is essential background that needs to be understood as we explore how to be respectful in a Zulu home. This is a proud ethnic group, who changed the course of history and culture in the country.
They were considered a fierce military force during the 19th century, and which serves to highlight just how important is the role of the men and the authority and respect they hold within a household.
Professor Sihawukele Ngubane, of the Natal School of Arts, University of KwaZulu-Natal explains that Zulu warriors – also known as amabutho - were part of the Zulu King’s entourage. “When the King or land was attacked it was they that fought the wars, but more is that they were also responsible for the funeral process that included the carrying of the deceased and preparation for the grave."
Their honour is representative of the very essence of the Zulu people, which can be summarised in one word: respect!
This respect, stemming from the heritage of battles past is maintained today, especially in mass gatherings and festivals that replicate traditions that date back some 3000 years. Respect is also evident in how the youth honour their elders regardless of familial biology.
Honour of others
“The Zulu culture is informed by honouring people based on the principle of UBUNTU, which translates into ‘you are because we are’,” Ngubane informs. “It manifests in giving, solidarity, compassion and other such values, all of which show us that Zulu people are communal and not individualistic. They are in effect, all interconnected.
“We see this even in their greetings. It is not taken for granted that an individual enquires of another’s wellbeing, but you have to do so each time you meet. And there is far deeper significance with this exchange, that being that you are mindful of another’s business with the intention to lend a hand whenever it is necessary.”
It is important to understand that this applies even with strangers, but more so with neighbours. Zulu people visit one another regularly and are always prepared to support those around them with even the simplest of gestures, such as providing a cup of sugar when it’s needed, or even assistance with labour. This plays out very predominately in the traditional Zulu home, but not so much in the (usually) second home which is suburban, and it is not necessarily the fault of a Zulu suburban family.
“The Zulu homesteads in suburbs have lost touch because their behaviour reflects that of those around them where people tend to mind their own business,” says Ngubane. “However within that home the same traditions still apply …"
respect is given to elders, particularly the parents.
Parental respect is clearly crucial. The Zulu family cares for their elders who often live with their children’s families. Any visitor should therefore apply similar respect to the elders within the Zulu home.
Entering and greeting the Zulu home and household
Invitations are not necessarily given unless there is a special occasion. “It is quite acceptable to pop in for a visit by making salutations from the gate, until someone responds to open the door. However, this may not be easy in a suburban environment given estate protocols, alarms, and other security measures. In this case it is best to announce your visit beforehand because strangers are, given today’s crime rates, considered suspicious.”
(This was not always the case. In fact Zulu households would welcome a stranger to the extent where food and a place to sleep was offered. Such a visitor would be invited to spend one night and be introduced to the headman of the community or household the next day. A record is always kept of the visitor’s point of departure and destination so they are traceable should they need to be.)
However hard a visitor may have to shout at a gate for attention, shouting within the Zulu home is unacceptable, and if wearing a hat it should be removed before entering.
“A traditional greeting is to shake hands at the door (bearing in mind this is now Covid-restricted), and the guest will further be warmly greeted by those in a room, usually with the traditional Sawubona, which means ‘I see you or I recognise you’. The response is Yebo: ‘Yes, I do recognise you as well’,” says Ngubane.
“And no matter the reason for the visit, the initial conversation centres around the wellbeing of all in the room and their families, among other small talk.”
Within the home
Interactions usually take place in the lounge and a visitor can choose to seat themselves wherever they wish, “but be alert to a single chair which is usually reserved for the head of the family,” warns Ngubane. “If the visitor is family or a close friend, there are no restrictions however, as to where conversations will take place. Generally male visitors are entertained by the males in the home, and vice versa for women.”
It is also polite to admire objects in the home, and touch them given the owners will show pride and know those are appreciated by others.
Similarly it is appreciated if a visitor brings a gift but not flowers, as the Zulu culture usually associates them with death. Fruits, drink and food, particularly meat, are very well received.
Food and drink
It is disrespectful to decline the offer of food and drink. “The Zulu culture is guided by ancestors that dictate that it is forbidden to not offer guests some form of imbibement. When preparing meals, Zulu people do not count the number of people in the house they are catering for, which means there is always something on offer."
It is recommended that even if you do not want to eat or drink, a glass of water should be requested.
Reciprocal visits
Visits are considered reciprocal but if the visitor is not family or a friend and such visits become too frequent, the home owner may indicate their irritation by suggesting that next time it is their turn to pay a visit. “This is a subtle hint that the visitor is no longer welcome,” says Ngubane.
Overall anyone interacting with Zulu people will find them warm, engaging and very open to socialising. Provided respect is given and elders are honoured, a visit is considered acknowledgement that you enjoy their company and their hospitality. In return a visitor will find the kindest, most generous, and caring response.
